Our third mother, “Bonnie”, came to us in mid September. Her baby was due in March, but arrived in February, two weeks early. Baby “Micah” weighed a little over five pounds, tiny but healthy. “Bonnie” has struggled with emotional turmoil and pain for much of her young life. At Martha and Mary House she has been in counseling. “Bonnie” chose to place her child for adoption in an Orthodox Christian family. Through Zoe for Life in Ohio she found, as she said, ‘the perfect family.’ The decision to place for adoption was difficult for “Bonnie” who felt much like an abandoned child herself. For several months she struggled - yearning to parent her child. Anger and anguish, prayer and pain poured into poetry, and in the end a letting go. After choosing her child’s adoptive family “Bonnie” wrote:

As soon as “Bonnie” went into labor, the adoptive parents were notified and caught the first plane to California. They arrived at the hospital less than 12 hours after their infant son was born. “Bonnie” had prepared a scrapbook for them with pictures and her poem. When she and baby “Micah” were released from the hospital, she placed him in the arms of his adoptive father. With his new parents and grandmother, “Micah” would stay with a fa mily in our parish till the interstate adoption papers could be completed - a matter of days.

“Bonnie” came home to Martha and Mary House, and that evening broke down in tears asking for her baby back. She had the legal right to do so. Reluctantly she agreed to wait till the next day - Sunday - to talk over her options with Father George Morelli. The adoptive parents were notified - and requests for prayer went out to parishes, monasteries and prayer partners across the country. “Bonnie’s” anguish was exacerbated by post partum hormonal changes and her breasts filling with colostrum and milk for the baby. She was also grappling with another loss; only days before “Mica’s” birth she had consented to the adoption of her two year old son “Ezra” by his foster parents. “Ezra” had been removed by Child Protective Services when he was eight months old and had passed from foster parents to foster parents before being placed in a family who wanted to adopt him. He had special needs, but on weekly visitations “Bonnie” had observed how he was thriving and bonding with his foster mother. “He loves her and she loves and really cares for him,” Bonnie said. Her poem for “Micah’s” adoptive parents, “Giving him to you”, was as true for “Ezra’s” foster/ adoptive parents. Three day old “Micah” experienced his first liturgy at St. John of Damascus Orthodox Church in Poway with his adoptive parents while, at Martha and Mary House, “Bonnie” was preparing for her baby - pumping colostrum and freezing it. ““Micah” needs it whether he stays with them or with me,” she said. Sunday afternoon she and Father George talked. The decision was “Bonnie’s”- choosing what was best for her child. Monday Father George would be back for morning prayer and Bonnie would call “Ezra’s” Child Protective Services adoption worker who had approved the decision to place her newborn with an adoptive family of her own choice. There was a possibility that C P S would step in if “Bonnie” chose to parent. In that case she would have no choice of adoptive family. That would be the worst case scenario for “Micah”. The adoption worker could not see her till Wednesday, after her final visitation with “Ezra”. “Bonnie” would make her decision then. That meant three more days of anguished waiting and prayer for “Micah’s” adoptive parents. In the meantime he was thriving on a mixed diet of mother’s milk and formula. “Bonnie” was busy collecting infant clothing, blankets, bottles and pacifier. “If he goes home with his adoptive family, I am sure they can use the things I got for him. They probably didn’t have time to get everything he needs”. Apparently “Bonnie” was thinking first of “Micah’s” needs, not her own. We prayed she would make the right decision. Wednesday morning she announced: “I think you should call the adoptive parents and tell them they need four tickets to go home!” “A fourth ticket for “Micah”? Bonnie smiled. “He’s the fourth, isn’t he?” She had not yet spoken with the CPS adoption worker. “I don’t need to,” she said. “This is my decision. I chose “Mica’s” parents for him. He needs a Mommy and a Daddy and grandparents and cousins and growing up in Church. I will always be his birth mother who loves him and he will know that. This way both my sons are in open adoptions. I know where they are. They know about me. I get to see pictures and send them things. I know this is best for them.” The adoptive parents wept in relief and gratitude. So did we. “Bonnie” made a true sacrifice of love for her two sons. After final papers were signed, the CPS case worker called on behalf of Ezra’s adoptive parents; could they bring him to meet his baby brother and adoptive parents, perhaps take a ‘family picture’ for both brothers’ scrapbooks? “Bonnie” was willing, and so were “Mica’s” adoptive parents. That evening they met at Martha and Mary House - an awesome and joyful conclusion to the drama of the last five days. “Those days were my “labor pains”, said “Mica’s” adoptive mother. The extended family posed for pictures: “Bonnie” in the center, flanked by her two sons on the lap of their adoptive mothers, the two fathers behind. Lots of pictures of baby “Mica” with his big brother. The two sets of parents exchanged contact information. The brothers will grow up knowing each other. Thanks be to God for His mercies!