18 year old ‘Mary’ was six months pregnant when she arrived at Martha and Mary House. Born in South East Asia, “Mary” was three years old when her father died. Her widowed mother left for America and sent for her daughter ten years later, but after High School, at eighteen, “Mary” was told she was on her own. She had lived with different friends the past six months. “Nick”, brought her to Martha and Mary House Friday before Lazarus Saturday. She moved into our ‘Mary of Egypt’ room and was introduced to Orthodoxy at vigil that evening. The next morning she asked to go with us to Church again, and that afternoon she announced, “I want my baby to be baptized Orthodox, I want to be Orthodox.” When asked why, she said, “I’ve gone to many different churches, but there was always something missing. Here is everything: truth, beauty, holiness and mystery. That’s what I want for my baby and for myself.” Martha and Mary House “daughters” are only required to attend Church on Sunday, but “Mary” insisted on coming to every service in Holy Week. After Pascha she was sorry the services were shorter and less frequent. Her enthusiasm did not wane. She sang in the choir and studied Orthodoxy with Father George Morelli who comes to Martha and Mary House weekly for prayer and counseling as needed. “Mary” loved the story of Mary of Egypt. “Just like me,” she said. “I didn’t think it was wrong to ‘have a little fun’ with boyfriends, but when I came to the Church I realized I was a sinner! My baby is innocent, but she will suffer because I’m not married and don’t have a home for her.”

“Mary” originally planned to be a single Mom, with “Nick” s help. Neither was interested in marriage. But after mandatory counseling, they agreed that a father and mother committed in life long marriage and to the nurture of their child would be the best future for the unborn baby. “Nick” came from a family of divorce and did not have much faith in a lasting marriage for himself. “Mary” was now determined to provide her unborn daughter with what she had always longed for - a family with mother and father who would not abandon her. If she could not be married on those terms, she would choose plan ‘B’, an Orthodox adoptive family.

Through Zoe for Life she met an out-of-state family willing to start the inter-state adoption process in face of uncertainty. ”God’s will be done.” they said. “We will stand by.”

“Little Mary” was born on Transfiguration, August 6., to the sound of The Divine Liturgy sung by the St. Vladimir Seminary Choir. “Mary” sang along between labor pains. “Nick” was labor coach. Their marriage faced serious obstacles and adoption was a strongpossibility. The doctor cautioned against breast feeding, which would strengthen the bond between mother and child, but “Mary” insisted, “It will hurt more to let her go, but I will know I gave my baby the best I could.” Mother and daughter returned to Martha and Mary House where “Little Mary” was thriving, gaining weight rapidly. “Mary” held her baby close: “I love you, but I made the wrong decisions when I had sex before marriage. I suffer now, but that is my own fault. I don’t want you to suffer. You need a Mommy and a Daddy and a solid family. I want to make sure you have that.“

“Mary” and “Nick” were in counseling with Father George. After three weeks the decision was made; marriage was out for now. “Mary” was responsible for her daughter’s future. With tears she called the adoptive parents to come - for her daughter’s sake. “I am not giving her away, I am giving her the family she needs”, she said. “They love her, and I will always love her too. I hope she will know that.” She added: “This is going to be hard. I know I will change my mind -but in the end I won’t change my mind. Please remind me of that!” The adoptive mother had prepared to breast feed as well. A supplemental bottle would ease the transition.

While paper work was pending, the adoptive parents stayed for a week, sleeping at a motel, spending the days at Martha and Mary House. “Little Mary” was content with three parents taking turns diapering, holding her, feeding. Morning and evening prayers were chanted together, “Little Mary” nestled peacefully in the arms of a doting parent. The three met with an adoption counselor and with Doctor Jauregui, “Mary’s” and “Little Mary’s” physician. “You are doing a wonderful thing for your daughter,” he told “Mary”. “You have nursed her, given her the very best start. Now you are giving her a family who will continue to give her the best of care. She is a lucky little girl. She has a birth mother and an adoptive mother and father who love her and a wonderful extended family of siblings, grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts to nurture her.”

“Mary” shook her head, sobbing, “I can’t do it..” and Dr. Jauregui put his arm around her. “It is your decision, “Mary”. Everyone will understand if you choose not to. You have bonded with your baby. It is a great and painful sacrifice. Whatever you decide, we will do what we can to help”. Resolutely “Mary” handed the baby to the doctor. “I want her to go with her adoptive family. It’s the best thing for her.”

The adoptive parents moved to Martha and Mary House to share parenting chores. They took pictures and videos. “Little Mary” belongs to God. Birth mother and adoptive parents agreed. They were privileged to love and provide for her. When the papers were final “Little Mary” flew home with her parents. A month later “Mary” and Housemother attended “Little Mary’s” baptism. Her Birth mother was welcomed and honored in the parish which has several adoptive families.

“Mary” is a catechumen and will be baptized in God’s time. She lives with a host family, attends college and works part time. Her daughter’s family has become her extended family.
We thank God and continue to pray for them all daily.